Many commentaries focus on Paul's defense of his ministry. Paul's main purposes have little to do with defending his ministry. The most common themes are: 1) reconciliation--between us and God, between fellow believers within the church, and between Paul and the Corinthians; 2) exhortation to ministry--Paul has been steadfast and uses his example to spur the Corinthians to look beyond their petty squabbles and reach out to the world, no matter how difficult it will be, because we have God and the rest of the world needs to be in relationship with Him. Be bold, be brave, get out of the pew!
We forgive an individual of our in-group (“us”) for violating the group’s values but we harangue, harass, prosecute against a person of the out-group (“them”) for doing the same thing. In Christianity, we claim all sins are equal and similarly separate us from the presence of God. Yet, most Christian leaders, and their followers, are flagrantly opposed to homosexuality and other sexual sins (because those are committed by ‘them’—maybe ‘us’ in terms of pornography, etc.), but give a pass to greed, envy, quarreling, divisiveness which are also condemned in the scriptures but almost always included in our list of spiritual grievances if we’re being honest. Yet we remove pastors for adultery, homosexuality, even because of their stances on those situations if they’re not guilty of committing those sins. We do not remove pastors who demand higher salaries, or gripe about how big their rivals’ churches are or how much recognition their peers are getting relative to their own fame...or do nothing to contain conflicts within their congregations and seem to relish in the arguments because they retain a sense of power. But more so, the in-group versus out-group dynamic isn’t challenged because it threatens our sense of belonging. If we complain about people in our group, the rest of the group and the leaders of the group—especially if our complaint is about the leader—will oust us from the group because of disloyalty and doubts about your adherence to the group’s values (the main one seems to be ‘don’t say anything publicly about how bad we are’).
This code of conduct is true not only of religion, but also of cults and gangs. The latter groups attract individuals who need a place to belong. And belonging can overwhelm any sense of right/wrong or rationality about how the world works.
And thus, we have politicians publicly condoning malfeasance and maladministration by their group’s members whilst railing against their opponents. And when caught-out, they surrender to a defense of “What about...?”
This is not ‘loving your neighbor’ nor ‘loving your enemy’ as we are called to do. It is not holding ourselves and those we love to the highest standards, to the values we espouse. Otherwise, we are all hypocrites and we can and should all sing Eli’s “Hypocrite Song”
Too much of prayer is talking at God—that is, not really expecting a reaction or response from Him. Public prayer is sometimes worse when quite a bit of the prayer is talking to others in the group. So how should we talk to God and, even more so, how should we listen? How do we learn to listen?
Recently I had the opportunity to share my thoughts on this topic to a men’s group. Bottom line: most of our prayer should be asking God questions and then listening for His answers. The lie: God is an impotent, silent observer. The truth: His Word is living, active and sharper than a two-edged sword (Hebrews 4.12) and He is here now and His kingdom is here now. When you talk to someone, it’s rarely one-way communication. Yet most of the advice on how to talk to God focuses on what we say to Him. There are various acronyms that remind us of an outline to pray: PRAY, CPR, ACTS, THUMB, ARISE, SOAP, HEAR, TRUST... The first one listed is perhaps the closest wherein Y = Yield and some have suggested this means to listen (while others may suggest it means to consecrate oneself to however God will show up and guide you in the future).
Anyone who practices any prayer or hangs out with religious people will end up with a long, long, long, long list of prayer requests to honor. Thus, there’s a great temptation to just talk at God and not hang around for the answer. And then, if you’re like me, we end up babbling to God and trying to sound like the tele-preachers or some good friends who pray glibly and often times formally. Then we violate Christ’s guidelines about not babbling like the Gentiles (Matthew 6.5-13).
I encourage you instead to ask God open-ended questions: what, how, when, where? (Avoid ‘why’.) Such as, “First, Lord, how should I pray for my friend, Ralph, in his situation? What do You want to happen here? What might my role be? What does his family need?” Instead of telling the Lord of the Universe what He should do, ask Him what He plans to do so that your eyes will be open to what’s about to happen. And then honor what He has said by committing that you’ll do your part, and give Him greater glory and honor as you seem Him act in these situations.
If you need to organize your long, long, long list and maybe prioritize it, consider a template that inspired me recently. After praise, adoration and then consecration to act on what He reveals, I went through the roles that I have. I then asked God what attributes, character traits I needed to emphasize or gain in order to fulfill the role and what circumstances are my responsibility or under my influence or in my sphere of concern. For example, I can pray about my role as a disciple, husband, father, son, grandfather...various vocational roles, church member, board member, community member, citizen, friend, mentor, discipler...and so on. In each of these, since I believe God is more concerned with who I am, how I behave in those roles, I ask Him to show me where I need to grow, change, repent, etc. Under Circumstances, I’ll list the answers to ‘where’, ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘who’.
I tried praying through this for an hour...and didn’t finish. I think I need an 8-hour retreat or more to really dialogue with God about all this. Therefore, I think the list can be broken down and He and I can work on a category, or just one role, in each prayer session.
Simple choice: is God more interested in your character or your circumstances?
To answer that question, let’s look at a few simple examples...
If God was more interested in our circumstances, He would have:
Left Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden
Not given free will to Abraham and Lot on where they lived (Lot chose the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah)
Let the Israelites cross into the Promised Land the first time they arrived at the Jordan River; instead He made them wander many more years till the ‘slave’ generation died out and the people’s character, courage and faith in God matured and they were ready to inherit the land
Not let Babylon, Egypt, Assyria overrun Judea and Israel and put many people in exile
Christ didn’t stop the storm when Peter steps out of the boat; in certain instances, He only stops the storm because the disciples are fainting with fear
“When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested...” God will change your situation so that your life is easy-peasy...not! “...your endurance has a chance to grow...you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1.2-4)
“He is so rich in kindness and grace that...” He purchased everything we’d ever need and showered us with all the gifts our hearts desire...not! “...He purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins. He has showered His kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.” (Ephesians 1.7-8)
To paraphrase a business adage, Character eats Circumstances for breakfast!
Then the question is: when we disciple, coach, mentor others, what are we most interested in: their character or their success? When we raise our kids, how often do we try to ease their circumstances?
And then to bring it back to us: How are we praying for our circumstances? How often do we ask God to develop our character? (Remember the joke that you shouldn’t pray for patience because then all kinds of irritating people and frustrating circumstances will be afflicted upon you.) How often do you ask God questions to better understand His perspective on any situation, rather than tell Him what you think should happen?
