If anyone thinks they have the magic formula for raising perfect kids (Dr. Dobson?), they only need to look at God's experience. God the Father is the most frustrated parent ever. Just read the scriptures.
If anyone should know the formula, and be perfect in their parenting, it's God. Yet, immediately in the narrative, His kids went astray. Adam and Eve didn't listen and got into trouble (Genesis 3). Later on, God asks, "What more could I have done for my vineyard that I have not already done?" (Isaiah 5.4) He followed the perfect gardening plan: fertile land, plowed field, best seed, perfect caretaking. He expected sweet grapes (aka perfect kids); instead He got bitter grapes (spoiled rotten kids).
It's the perfect metaphor for raising kids. There is no recipe or carpentry plan that can be followed using the best materials and tools in controlled environments with the result that you get a 'product' that matches exactly what you wanted (i.e. met spec). With children, there are factors that are not under our control, like free will and outside influences: weeds, vermin, pests, drought, flood, etc. stand in for friends, social trends and other cultural currents, authority figures, community dynamics, economic cycles and communal responses of fear/confidence, mentors who encourage abundance-thinking or scarcity-thinking, mentors of clan-first or Kingdom-first, and so on.
I think we need to extend a lot of grace to parents, and avoid putting guilt and shame on them for how their kids turn out. Would we berate God for how His kids turned out?
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