Helper, Helpmate = Protector, Guide

Terminology is important. What you call something colors your perspective. I learned this a long time ago with a Joel Barker video citing a bike seat and how its traditional title of “saddle” has influenced its design for the last 100+ years. So I was stunned when I first learned that we’ve been calling women by the wrong name. And it puts a whole new light on God’s desire for male-female relationships, especially in marriage. (This is not about marriage—a wholly different topic and its past-200 year mutation beyond economic purposes.)

Growing up, I’d heard the Genesis story and how Eve (Chavah ‘life’) was subservient to Adam (‘mankind’) because she was ‘just’ a “helper” (ezer). Some translations have “help meet,” “helpmate”; others say “companion.” Most of these imply a person of lower status. You might have grown up with the nomenclature of “the help” for servants, volunteers...and slaves if you grew up in 17th-19th century US.

If you’re familiar with church names, you may recognize that ezer is part of Ebenezer (ha-azer ‘stone of help for thus far the LORD has helped us’).

Ezer is also used in Psalm 89:19 where the Lord says, “I have granted help to one who is mighty” or “I have raised up a warrior” or “I have bestowed strength on the mighty”. Here the Lord is not subservient to the mighty; He’s not carrying the warrior’s armor, weapons or satchels of food. The mighty couldn’t be successful without the Lord’s ezer.

Exodus 18.4 has “...the God of my father is my ezer...”
Deuteronomy 33.7 “ oh, [Lord,] be his ezer against his foes!”
Psalm 33.20 “He is our ezer and our shield”
Psalm 121.1-2 “From where shall my ezer come? My ezer comes from the Lord!”
...and like a chant, in Psalm 115.8-10, three times “He is their ezer and shield”

Because God knew the Eden experience wouldn’t last, He wanted an ezer suitable for Adam while he journeyed on this earth. From the verses above, you almost have the image of Havah appearing like Xena the Warrior Princess or Diana Prince-Wonder Woman.

My wife doesn’t don battle armor to fight my foes. One way my wife protects me is with her inspired wisdom. And I’m grateful to the Lord for her. She is my ezer and it’s my duty to love her sacrificially and unconditionally, without causing her to stumble, to support her always...as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5.23)